There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
