are you so shy because you have an std?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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