So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
