I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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