whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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