how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
