i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
