I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
