Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
