So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
if only i could text you this smell
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
