it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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