'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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