tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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