Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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