Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
