quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
