Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
