On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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