I need help removing her.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
