i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize