porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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