just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Someone shattered a urinal.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
