he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Holy shit dude........stairs
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
