so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
