The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
