I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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