I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
