i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
