apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dick very happy bro
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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