hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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