So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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