next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
