Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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