my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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