Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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