ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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