The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
