He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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