dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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