i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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