So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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