hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
