took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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