"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
