There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
