Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize