They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
