Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
