My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
