Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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