the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You need a sexual gate keeper
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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