Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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