Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
