haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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