So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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