I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
