Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize