That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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