Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
