I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In other news, I just burned my penis
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
