sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
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