the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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