is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
