Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
We have so much sex to catch up on
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
