If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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