When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
