his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
