what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I would ride that face into the sunset
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
